指南《哈利波特》 CHAPTER 5 DIAGON Alley(对角线胡同)包含了很多位置的描述,非常生动。

海格在哈利11岁生日的这天找到了他,带着哈利经过对角巷到古灵阁取经费,然后在各种店铺购置即将前往Hogwarts上学所需要的物品。不但哈利觉得“他刚刚过了一个生平最好的生日。”,守仁也好想有机会到这条街上走走。J.K.Rowling对这条街的描写,让人惊叹,她是怎么做的呢?


一. 把想要写的地点做一个总的陈述

我们把想要描写的地点可以先做一个总的陈述, 然后再对具体的地点详细描写,其它的可以做一些略写,做到详略得当。


Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, “Dragon liver, seventeen Sickles an ounce, they're mad…”

哈利真希望自己多长八只眼睛。当他们走在街道上时,他的头不停的向四处转动,想把所有的东西一下子尽收眼底,店铺、铺子外面的东西,以及那些在购物的人们,一个非常丰满的妇女站在药房外,使劲晃动地的脑袋,大声叫卖:"蜥蜴肝脏,每盎司十七西可……"


第一句话通过哈利的心理描写以及动作描写,侧面体现出了这条街道的琳琅满目。以及这个丰满女人的语言描写,体现了这条街上商品的昂贵。JK.Rowling阿姨没有直接说这条街道多么的繁华,没有形容词的堆砌,可是守仁完全明白了这可是一条不同寻常的街道。

二. 用好列举的方法来形容不打算重点描写的地点


A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium — Tawny, Screen,Barn, Brown, and Snowy. Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. “Look,” Harry heard one of them say, “the new Nimbus Two Thousand — fastest ever — ” There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels’ eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon…

一个低沉,柔和的袅叫声从一间昏暗的店铺里传来,那店铺的招牌上写着:猫头鹰出租中心——黄褐色的、红褐色的、全棕色的、棕褐毛的、雪白的,许多年纪与哈利相仿的男孩子把他们的鼻子紧紧压在橱窗上,窗户里面是他们梦寐以求的魔法扫帚。"看哪!"哈利听到其中一个在说:"新的'灵光2000'——是最快的。"还有许多店铺卖法衣、望远镜以及哈利以前从未见过的奇怪的银具,橱窗里还堆积着一桶桶的蝙蝠脾脏和鳗鱼眼睛,摇摇欲坠的成堆的咒语书,一卷卷的羊皮纸、药瓶、以及各种各样的月球仪。


这一段文字里面列举了里面有各种不同颜色的猫头鹰的店,魔法扫帚店,法衣,望远镜,银具店等等, 还列举了各种新奇的商品,蝙蝠脾脏和鳗鱼眼睛,咒语书,羊皮纸、药瓶、以及各种各样的月球仪。

三.通过细节描写具体描述目标


They bought Harry’s school books in a shop called Flourish and Blotts where the shelves were stacked to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size of postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all. Even Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his hands on some of these.

他们在一家叫做"弗拉立与布洛斯"的书店里买到了哈利需要的课本,店里的书架都是从天花板悬挂下来的,有用羽毛装饰的像铺路石一般大小的书,也有丝绒封面的像邮票一般大小的书,还有一些全是奇怪符号的书,以及一些里面什么也没有的书,即使从未读过书的达力也会禁不住伸出手来摸摸这些书的。


J.K.Rowling 运用了细节描写,具体生动地像地砖大小的书以及像邮票大小的书。并通过对比:书籍有大有小,有的书里面有很多奇奇怪怪的标志,有的则是空白。。。这种对比的描写非常引人入胜;再通过作假设:说如果Harry的表哥来到这家店也会用手摸一摸这些书的。试想,连Harry的表哥那种不学无术的人都喜欢的书店该多神奇啊!这种例子给人更多想要探索的感觉。

总结: 我们描述一个地点,我们可以先描述一个大的位置,再简略描述周边,再重点通过细节,比如使用对比、比喻,作假设等各种手法增加语言的魅力。守仁读到第五章的时候,感觉到自己也迈入了神奇的魔法世界。